The Awkward Phase

Currently Craving: Rice Cereal ( i can't get enough)

a week ago monday i came home from teaching yoga at 8 at night and changed into my pajamas right away. max took one look at me and said 'You're pregnant!' and i totally was. my belly was completely hanging out there for the world to see. it was NOT like that before i left for yoga.

so it has officially hit. the awkward phase. i don't totally look pregnant pregnant, but there's definitely something going on. and my clothes still fit, but they fit funny and if i have anything fitted in the waist then after a while i start to feel like i'm bumping into the waistline and i have to unbutton myself. that happened last week on the way to and from visiting my sister in charlottte. after about an hour in the car i had to get more comfortable.

that said, the reality is setting in that my body is about to change big time! i am going to seriously expand and suddenly last night i was freaking out that i wasn't going to have anything to wear. if you know me, on the one hand you know i'm really not a worry about what i'm going to wear kind of person. well, not on a day to day basis. BUT also if you know me you know i'm completely a worry about what i'm going to wear kind of person especially as related to any sort of event or any sort of outing involving people who have a sense of style (something i was dreadfully born without)

the freak out has been coming on in stages. first i got invited to max's cousin's wedding shower in the middle of may. i might normally have a little anxiety about what to wear because his family all dress so beautifully, but this time i was confronted with the knowledge that i will have to be dressed, but i have NO IDEA how big i'll actually be by then. so a few days ago i checked my closet and tried on some things. even found some pants that fit, but that's still 4 weeks away. will it still fit???

then i started packing for the trip to visit Lizard and again was hit with the wonderment of what to take. the weather was supposed to be warm and as i was looking at my summer clothes all i saw was a pile of teeny-tiny tee-shirts that will NEVER work with this awkward belly. (sigh) guess those aren't coming out this year.

and in charlotte the three of us walked into a great maternity store. it was pretty sweet because it had things from all the maternity shops all in one place. and i walked around looking at paneled jeans and maternity tankinis with my jaw hanging open and a feeling of "what am i supposed to do here?" i did not buy anything. saved by the fact that my belly is still small... but for how long.

today i put on pants that have always had a funny wide waistline, but they stay up fine and while i'm sitting to type, there's a little pressure on this belly. and yesterday i noticed in the mirror in the bathroom at the yoga studio, my pants were a little snug around the bum. might be time for retirement soon.

and so FREAK OUT. What the heck am i going to wear all HOT summer long in richmond???


ENTER mom and dad and my birthday present. a sweet gift certificate for clothes. so this afternoon i spent a while online dream shopping and running up a $500 bill for maternity clothes(of course i didn't actually BUY all those things). after that little fit, i backed off, got real, and picked out a just few essentials that will calm me down until i head out to bargain shop in an actual store. so in the next few days i expect some maternity jeans, shorts, pants, a skirt and a top to arrive on my door step. hopefully they will come before the grapefruit in my abdomen requires me to resort only to sweat pants or a mumu. those would not be comfortable for summer.