Currently Craving: a true full night's sleep
In the past month i've been to two 'Meet the New Baby' parties. both were thrown by parents of the new parents in the hometown of the new parent. essentially it's a party for the grandparents to introduce the new baby to all their friends and relatives and for the new parents to introduce baby to any of their friends who still live in town or are willing to come into town. i pretty much like this idea. it lets everyone get to know baby without having to schedule 500 visits with different people when you're in town to see the baby's grandparents. get it all done at once. and at the last one it became a practical high school reunion for max and his guys so it was nice to catch up with them. (they're all so friggin' nice and polite)
but i heard the mothers at both parties get asked something that never occurred to me... people asked the new mother when she was planning to have a second child. or at least if she was planning to have a second child. in the case of this sunday's party the baby was only 10 weeks old! at that point i'm sure mom's just starting to feel her legs again and is beginning to see her feet to be able to tie her shoes again. my feeling about this is that the poor moms just need some time to adjust to being a mom for the first time before throwing in the pressure to do the whole thing all over again. i know i personally need transition time in my life for big events. (plus, what business is it of yours what my reproductive plans are?)
the whole thing about a second child and asking about it right away really sets women up poorly. i have a friend who is working on conceiving a second now and we were talking about how difficult it can be not to get caught up in the whole process. not to get caught up in 'we had a boy so now we want a girl' 'our first is 2 so we want to have #2 ASAP so they're the right age' plus just the stresses of trying to plan your life around the POSSIBILITY of being pregnant X months from now. it's hard to just let nature take it's course when you're trying to create a perfect picture of a perfect family.
i know that people ask because they are interested in your life and they ask because they don't know what else to talk about. like when people ask how much weight you've gained. i'm just glad to have heard the question in advance....now i can come up with a good response before i am even asked.
2 comments:
: )Certainties of life:
1.) when you get married, you are soon asked, "So, when will you have a child?"
2.) when you have your first child, you are immediately asked, "So, are you going to have a second child? When?"
2.) when you have the second child,
a.) if it is of the same gender as the first child, you are asked, "So, are you going to try for a (oppositely gendered child)?
b.) if it is of the opposite gender, you are asked, "So, one of each, this means you are done with kids, right?"
I also never understood this. I mean, give people time to digest and reflect upon their life already!! I also agree that it is pretty tactless for most people to question this too, who do it so casually as if they are asking about the weather, trying to make conversation without realizing what they are actually addressing.
Plus, I also like the idea of "Meet the Baby" parties. Of course, for us, that would be about Thanksgiving or winter holidays, right? I guess there is a built in party there....
Hmm, my pregnancy brain apparently left me with the inability to count past two, go figure!!
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