It has occurred to me that in the last several years weddings and honeymoons have become more and more lavish and over the top. no longer is it acceptable to have a small house wedding with a tiny reception in the backyard followed by a honeymoon drive to the nearest cultural attraction. now weddings have gotten bigger and bigger with entire weekends full of events and extreme entertainment during the party. for an out of town wedding you could most likely expect to be invited to 1. friday night's rehearsal dinner 2. saturday's wedding and 3. sunday's brunch party. and there is a possibility of a thursday night event if you are particularly close to the couple. then after everything the couple will hop off and run away to an exotic or cultural location for at least a week. i'm not saying you HAVE to do that. but it is becoming more and more of the norm rather than the exception. i actually know a couple who were planning a nice quiet honeymoon but one of the mothers got involved and required something more exciting. i don't think the bride complained about being sent to hawaii, but she would have been just as happy with the original plan.
max and i were just the same, friday night dinner at a nice restaurant with out of town guests hosted by his parents
, Saturday night dancing and a live band and three chocolate fountains (we did opt NOT to feed everyone a boring dinner)
and then Sunday bagels and coffee at our house
(thankfully not a full on brunch craziness). 
and then we hopped off to St. Lucia for a week. and it was wonderful and we had a great time, we probably would have had just as great a time in Virginia Beach though. what really mattered at that point was getting away, relaxing, and being together. ANYWAY... the reason i share all of this is that i feel like sometimes couples get so caught up in the excitement of planning the big wedding that when it's all over they feel a let down. so what's next??? have a BABY of course! this way you can have all of the attention brought back to you and you can have parties and gifts etc.... things get BIG and DRAMATIC again. and two years later you can do it all again!
Now along with the big weddings and honeymoons there are big events to go with pregnancy. two popular trends you may or may not know about are Babymoons and Pushing Gifts. both are pretty much just what they sound like
A babymoon is like a second honeymoon that you take before the baby arrives, probably sometime during the second trimester. a babymoon can be something small like a night in a hotel in your town or it can be another huge trip to some place exotic. many hotels and resorts are now offering special babymoon packages. they tend to include massage, chocolate, room service and as much pampering as you can stand. some offer non-alcoholic champagne. to read more you can check this out in the NY Times travel. and in all honesty, it sounds like a really good idea to me. when you're pregnant you are tired and you feel NOT-glamourous and that you really would like to just be taken care of by other people as much as possible. to get away and have the time to relax with your spouse sounds excellent to me. Max and i had actually considered it and were trying to plan a get away in may or june but it didn't happen... and now.. flying is not an option and tomorrow is my last serious roadtrip. so any babymoon will have to be close to home.
The second new trend is the pushing gift. this is a gift from the husband to the wife for, you guessed it... pushing his baby out. (do you still get it if you have a C-section?). the first time i heard about this one it was from one of my friends sharing about her friend. the mom-to-be was picking out a diamond tennis bracelet for herself. (whoa!). the trend seems to be mostly jewelry on this one but trips or home items might also be included. this one seems to have the possibility of going WAY over the top and you hear about it with celebrities. max and i have really joked about this one a lot, but i do like the sentiment of some how celebrating or marking the occasion with something. so we'll see. i don't think diamond earrings are in my future on this one. we do know a couple who gave each other a ring at the birth of their daughter and he wears his all the time which i think is pretty sweet. who knows. anyway to read more read here in the NY Times again.
those are the trends and i'm sure they'll only get bigger and become more and more expected as time goes on. but i hope what couples and former bridezillas can keep in mind is that the real prize is the beautiful wonderful baby.
2 comments:
i have never heard of these trends... how very interesting! sheila kitzinger (in her book homebirth -- now called birth your way) refers to the babymoon as a time for closeness and bonding after baby is born. a time of sacred, quiet, intimate space-- like that given a new couple! instead of all of the drop-ins and calls that is the norm. although, a lasagna drop-in or a dish washing friend is always welcome during that babymoon! the other neat alternative to this is the blessingway --- an unconventional approach to the baby shower. more of a mama shower-- but without so much material emphasis.
such interesting blogs you share!
Oh that's funny. i've heard of that version of babymooning referred to as 'laying in' . that the couple essentially just stay in bed with the infant and are given lots of time and space together as a family. i guess there is someone outside the room making sure they have food and such but no phone calls or visitors. that sounds perfect for me
and blessing ways are SO wonderful. i had one as a bride and have just been offered one as a mom-to-be when i think it will be even more important. i'm definitely looking forward to it.
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