"Birth makes you a Woman" - or Nancy appointment week 37

Currently Craving: Nothing, just ate lunch

Monday morning 8 am... back to Nancy's house for our 37 (!) week appointment.

this time we brought our homework from a few weeks ago. answers to the questionnaire she gave us about what we want the birth to be like. she said all of the births have similarities, but by answering these questions we help to create a more unique and personal birth experience.
the questions were things like: what do you want from this birth? fantasies about the birth? what do you need from the people around you? strengths and weaknesses... all sorts of stuff. i've been thinking about them since she gave them to us but finally sat down to write it all down last night. (then was wide awake at 5 am and decided to just get up and type it out so she can actually read it, arg!)

when we gave it to her i thought we might glance over it and then she'd spend a bit of the time telling max much of the same stuff she told me last time. instead, she read the whole thing bit by bit and picked out the key words and key ideas that we want.. making a huge list on three pages of paper. she said several times that i did a 'great job' and how 'beautiful' it was and that we were going to have a 'great birth' so that was all encouraging.

we talked about the fear of death being very real. at some point the laboring woman gets there and really thinks she's going to die. nancy explained it as 'first, you're not going to die. but then at the same time you really do have to die. the childhood part of you is over. and birth makes you a woman' she described her one sister who doesn't have children and how she isn't an adult the same way the rest of her siblings are. and she continued to empower me and max to make this journey together and as adults. so that feels really good too and in line with how i've been feeling and what i've been thinking about.

we seriously spent an hour talking about all these ideas. and then she took our list and told us we are to make a Birth Invitation. she showed us examples by others. essentially we take the ideas and pair them down to their most important essence and then create some sort of invitation... artwork, a card, just a computer sheet... whatever. but it is something we can give to the people who are around us during the birth so they know what we want AND it is something we can look at through the whole thing for our own inspiration.
it is meant to be more of a right-brained activity. so i love that. and this pretty much replaces the 'BIRTH PLAN' idea that many people have when they go to the hospital. the birth plan is probably really needed in a hospital when you're trying to 'fight the establishment' and do it your own way... you have to write things like 'i'd like low lighting' 'i'd like the baby on my chest right away' etc. at a home birth you don't really have to write that because nancy does it or you just turn out your own lights. but you might put that you are inviting feelings of safety and privacy... that you are inviting health and endurance. whatever feels right and needed.
the appointment really energized me and i feel very positive about the entire thing. seems that i'm in good emotional shape and good physical shape to have a good birth experience. and since the appointment i've been designing the invitation in my head and it rocks. i feel a major art project coming on.

then she finally did check on babe: stats are good still. my bp is good and her heart rate is fine. she changed positions this week so this time she was over on my left side head down with her bum swinging up towards my right rib cage. knowing she went left made me feel better. she is completely active too (she seems to want to help me type this post right now) so she may dance back and forth a few more times before the actual event. we had a LONG braxton-hicks before nancy could truly feel the position and nancy says that's good because the uterus is getting nice and toned, and my abs are helping to hold her in place. nancy described her as being essentially in child's pose from yoga which makes sense as to why we never see an elbow or a foot distinctly sticking out and why she always feels like she has two bums or something... she's just curled up.
we left with three DVDs to watch. two on breastfeeding for me. and one on waterbirth for both of us. then next monday, same time, same place... and we take max's truck to pick up the tub.