so i don't know about blogging into the future. what i used to have a complete overabundance of, is now entirely lacking.... TIME. at this point i have about two hours each evening between when she goes to bed and when i do to actually do everything. last night it was a yoga practice at 8 pm. my priorities for any babe-free time are Max then yoga... so i'm not sure where the blog will fall, except that i like doing it and people seem to like reading. we'll see....
yes, we are living on baby time these days. i feel a little bit captive to it, but as with everything, this too shall change. being on baby time means everything takes longer : getting dressed, eating, doing laundry, going out of the house. OR that i rush through things to make sure she's ok : grocery shopping, yoga practice, showers, meals. etc.
but when things are calm, being on baby time has let me go slow and take notice of things i might usually miss:
we nurse i a rocking chair between the two windows in her bedroom. this fall i watched the trees outside turn gold and crimson and finally drop all the leaves.
i watched a hawk perch in another tree and then go for some smaller creature on the ground. (it was pretty amazing, and luckily there was a small tree in my way to censor what actually happened)
i've learned that our porch roof is a super highway for squirrels moving between the two pines in our yard. and a good place for cardinals to find food.
i've had quiet time to read as she sleeps in my lap
and on the one night (thank you) that she cried so hard that we had to get up and rock i saw one of the huge oaks illuminated by a streetlight in the most beautiful way with its giant branches reaching out white against a black sky.
so, whenever i can, whenever i'm getting stressed about time or that i'm not doing things "right" i try to pause, take a breath and remember : these moments are fleeting and she's only small once... and my ONLY job right now is to be present in this moment with this child (and max) everything else can wait (even the blog)
4 comments:
enjoy each precious moment because she will grow up way too fast- it is hard, though, as you want to do things you used to do and the baby does not always allow you to do that which makes you feel constricted in some way- it is different- on this end of the spectrum, I regret not enjoying it more and taking more pictures- I love reading about your thoughts and sights as you are up and forced to sit quietly enjoying nature! just blog when you can- if not, write down thoughts and keep them in a journal- you will find them priceless later on and so will she!! she is beautiful and you two are doing a wonderul parenting job!! take care!!
I was about to tell you that both my mom and I enjoy reading, and look--there's a comment from my mom! :) I do enjoy reading and seeing the Bean, so I love it whne you have time. That said, baby time is the sweetest. I'm still living on it, for sure, though now that S is crawling, we're a little faster paced...
This is the only child you will really get to live on "baby" time so enjoy it and let all else go except for Max. No one reaches my stage in life and says, "I wish I had cleaned more or shopped more or ( you fill in....)" But, I do wish I had stopped to rock more or smell the flowers or look at the sky or just hold my babies. You are doing such a good job and Sabine is reaping the benefit of you being on baby time.
I often find myself looking at Ciarán and thinking of Cillian at that stage, and then I look at Cillian and wonder how it is possible for almost five years to pass so quickly... I often remind myself that although it seems difficult now, the last thing I want to do is wish time away...
I think your insights are beautiful... and I agree thoroughly with Boo that your first baby is really the only one you truly get to appreciate those moments with, so experience as many as you can. Not that you need me to tell you that, I am sure.
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