Mini Me

it's weird that once the baby is born the blog goes from being all about ME to all about HER. mainly because everyone wants to hear about her but it is strange . i'll have to start my own blog all about ME if i want to talk about myself anymore. but i have been thinking about this lately.. i'm shrinking! my persona, my being, my breath, and my BODY ... totally shrinking. she is literally eating me up.
it is a strange complaint to have, but in the last week two people have commented on how small i'm getting. in general i don't like to talk about my weight or anyone elses. in my mind we are all beautiful no matter what our size and worrying about weight and numbers seems to hurt more than help, but it seems to be a big topic of conversation for all the women i know. i honestly don't really realize when i'm getting smaller or bigger, it just happens. but now i'm getting smaller. and it's not in a good way. usually when i'm stressed i get bigger but with sabine i don't have as much time to eat... and she's nursing nursing nursing. so i went to the DR this week and i'm 3 pounds lighter than when i got pregnant, and i was on the skinny side then! it would be one thing if i was doing tons of yoga and i was smaller because i was totally muscle, but i'm not. instead i'm the slightly flabby skinny that is not comfortable and doesn't feel strong or healthy. i don't really want to complain, because as i was saying to katie.. at least i'm having the problem that my clothes are falling off, not getting too tight. as it is, i know this will change when i stop nursing, and carrying a 15+ pound weight all day everyday. until then i put max on skinny patrol to let me know if i start getting gross... it just isn't healthy no matter how good the bikini looks... and i'm trying to eat at every opportunity. i am SO grateful for the people who stocked our freezer with good foods and to the people who have given us good meals to eat. at least i know i can find good food in my house. as soon as the easter candy/cookies are done i'll definitely be back on the good eating train. time to stuff my face with as many good for me calories as i can find. and load up on the WATER. i can't get enough!