Fits and Starts

Going into Labor, Round 1

Yesterday Max came home from work around 4 and told this baby he could be born and immediately I started having contractions. Mild and spaced out contractions (like 3 an hour).  Then my mom arrived and Sabine started playing around getting all wound up and the contractions got a little stronger and closer together.
Finally around 6:30 I told my mom and Max we needed to get serious about dinner because this little guy seemed serious about moving on out. So mom went to work making dinner, Max went to work arranging things and timing me.  And I went to work wondering if I was actually going into labor.
I called Nancy around 6:45 and she listened to me. I had one contraction on the phone - again mild but noticeable about 5 minutes into the conversation.  She told me to call back in an hour.
I went down to dinner where I sat and shook and had contractions the whole time.  And finally made the decision to send my mom and Sabine out for the night.  In the dream that there is no distraction from Sabine during the birth.
So they left at about 7:45 and I called Nancy back at about 8.  In between we timed contractions and got 5mins, 5 mins, 2 mins, 11mins... and up I went to talk to Nancy.  Well, when I got on the phone with her she told me she thought I'd labor tonight.  She said the irregularity of contractions is more real labor than strictly regular 5 min intervals (more like false labor) because it's the way the hormones move through, in fits and starts.  So as I was talking with her I had contractions every 2 minutes.  Weak ones, but there.
She started by saying: OK call me back in an hour.  but by the time the phone call was ending she'd decided that at 2 minutes apart she really needed to come in 30 minutes.  So when we hung up she was leaving the house to get to our house by 9pm.
I wandered around for a little bit trying to organize myself and still in disbelief that I was in labor.  Told Max what Nancy said and got him to text my friends for me.  Then just tried to start settling myself (but honestly I just wanted to get on the computer) I finally found a quiet spot and laid down.
Around 9:10 Nancy came in.  She started with checking me and baby.  I was at 2 which was where I was when she'd checked at the last appointment on Thursday.  And she told me she witnessed a car accident on the way here.  (why did she tell me that?  so weird)  She checked baby boy and he was happy as a clam at 0.
So she sent me back into my quiet space and she and Max carried all her things in from the car and set up the entire birth space.  She also started brewing the herbs for the herbal bath.
Around 10:30 I got hungry.  And, I was irritated with Nancy being in my house.  I was in this space of "I want something to eat, but I guess I should ask... but if Nancy wasn't here I wouldn't ask...." and I was cold. And nothing much was happening, and I needed to pee.
So I got up and came out.  Nancy was reading in my bed, Max was downstairs on the internet.
"are you ok?" Nancy says. "Yes" and then she tells me how cozy my bed is and that it's fine for me to eat etc.  So I go down with Max.
I eat and wander and have more contractions, they actually pick up from the slow down I'd experienced while resting.
I decided I wanted to go get in my own bed. So Max tells Nancy.  What I really want is for her to go downstairs and away, but I couldn't tell her that. I even have a funny thought that I could put her in the playroom where the guest bed is and call her to report. I start thinking she should treat me like a first time mom.  She doesn't want to go downstairs because she says she wants to be able to hear me.
The compromise is that she goes into baby brother's room and reads in the rocking chair.
Max comes into the bed with me.  Around midnight neither of us is sleeping, not much is happening for me, though contractions are still coming but are spaced out and baby is playing around in there.  Max tells me that if he's born today (3/16) he'll share a birthday with Flava-Flave and Eric Estrada.  So that gets us giggling and laughing and we look up all the celebrity birthdays he would share.  (those are the best)
Max goes away. I still can't sleep. I start TRYING to pay attention to the contractions.  But I just felt like I wasn't in the zone.
Finally, around 1 Nancy comes in and asks if anything much is happening. We figure contractions are really spaced out and mostly only coming from baby moving around.  So she says: "I'm giving you permission for this not to be labor"  or "to let it stop" or something like that.  Uh. Ok.
She had me get up and move around just a little bit to see if anything changed.  And when I moved I did get a few more contractions and closer together.  But the test was when she checked me again.  Change in the cervix would mean this is pre-labor.  No change, probably false labor.  'I can't make false labor real labor, and I can't stop real labor' was what she said.
No change in there.  And, it didn't seem like it wanted to change.
So she decided to call it a night and go home.  She had me have a glass of wine and some cheese and crackers (so fancy at 2am).  She packed up her stuff and Max helped her carry it back out. She went home to go to sleep.  And I finally did go to sleep myself.
They left out most of the set up though, all the stuff from the birth box is spread all over the room and I'm all set.  Now again, it's back to the waiting game.
In the morning I texted peeps to let them know.  Turns out we weren't the only ones not sleeping last night so I shouldn't have waited until morning to say: 'nothing's happening go to sleep!'
So an eventful/uneventful night.  Personally I'm not in any particular state about it.  It just happened, I'm not relieved or disappointed or anything.  I just figure he'll come when he comes when he's meant to be here and not a moment before.  I'm sorry to have kept Nancy up most of the night, but as Max said 'it's part of the job'.
And today I'm just tired and dragging, both from lack of sleep and from the wine.  Thing is, I'd rather have everything ready and in place and have it NOT happen, than have nothing ready and in place and Nancy not here and then have it actually happen.  So it was fine and is fine.
Tonight I'm getting in bed and going off to sleep.